Dumbass.

That's me. I got the collision detection working. My problem, I was translating the object's position using the Transform class instead of using the CharacterController class. Hurf durf! Anyway, I'll most likely work on the game camera next, get it to change it's position on the fly when a wall comes between it and the player.

Here's some progress on Beardy, I think the one on the far right is what form I want him to have. I've been working on boiling him down into simpler shapes, there are some small signs of that in this pic.